Weight Loss Tips for Lazy People
Last month my husband stopped me from eating my last bite of chocolate cake. “You’re eating chocolate cake? You had Chick-Fil-A this morning. Did you eat all those chicken minis?” Yes, I did eat the chicken minis in addition to the sausage and egg burrito and hash browns. Some women wouldn’t appreciate their partners questioning their eating habits but a few weeks prior, I had specifically asked my husband to judge me for my food choices. He didn’t because I wasn’t in the ‘danger zone.’ This evening I was in the danger zone. Memorial Day weekend I made a Pinterest poke cake and frozen half to possibly take to a…
So You’re Pregnant!
Oh my gosh, you’re pregnant! Wow! Congratulations! There are so many of you. Even though a small part of me is salty none of you bothered to be pregnant at the same time as me, I’m sooo happy for you. You will all make great moms because you aren’t narcissists. There is a special journey ahead of you and I have so much to say… The first trimester is such a weird time, isn’t it? On TV they don’t show you the part where the woman takes six pregnancy tests over the course of a few weeks and still isn’t convinced there is real life in there. The unspoken rule…
Welcome to Parenthood!
I walk out of the master bathroom, in a diaper, with milk streaming out of both of my breasts. My husband rushes and grabs the baby from my mom. I sit on the bed and nurse my son on the right while my husband starts the breast pump on the left. This is parenthood. This is Day 3. Day 1 With every ounce of strength in me I push a baby’s head out of my body and the rest of him follows, at 12:32 am on February 4th. He cries immediately in spite of the meconium that came out when my water broke. I thank God for that. My…
