At this point, my wedding dress is 20 lbs in the past. No, I didn’t lose weight for the wedding because I planned the wedding in 3 weeks. Things have just changed and I don’t know that I could have anticipated how those changes would affect me!
I think we have all been critical of someone who “got fat” after marriage, but it’s not as simple as letting oneself go because they don’t have to try anymore– there’s so much more to it, and I get it. I’m that person right now, but the first step in recovery is admitting you have a problem. Here is my admittance.
- I learned how to cook.
Before marriage, I could basically just make roast chicken and other remedial
dishes. I ate a lot of rotisserie chicken and steamed vegetables because it was quick and cheap. I now make real, full, “delicious” meals. Since I don’t have a job, feeding my husband is something I take pride in. I think my soldier husband deserves better than a bland chicken breast and broccoli. I have not improved with the chicken breast, sad to say.
- Lunch Dates
I rarely ate out for lunch when I was working because paying for lunch for no good reason is a waste to me. When I was single, I basically grabbed whatever
steamed vegetables I had in the fridge and threw in some rotisserie chicken and ran off to work. I definitely wasn’t having lasagna and garlic bread, which is what I fed Spencer (and myself) today… He comes home for lunch every day and usually has something good to eat from said improved cooking, and we usually eat together.
In addition, when we go out to eat, it’s a date. (I would not admit that to my husband.) This means I’m not ordering salad since it’s a meaningful occasion.
- Peer Pressure
My husband was previously a personal trainer, so he’s a person with self-control. My self-control used to be just not bringing things into my house. Living with another person means living with another person’s food preferences, and carbohydrates.
There’s also the fact that I used to be the only influence in what I ate, but now if my husband wants to stop by Krispy Kreme on the way to church, you know I’m having at least one, even if I wasn’t even thinking about donuts before we got to the store.
- Unconditional Love and Acceptance
This one’s a B. Because my husband is actually a good person, he isn’t critical of my appearance. As a result, having everything tight is less of a priority to me. Even though I’ve gained 20 lbs, he thinks I look great. I actually asked him to shame me for my food choices; no luck there.
- Lack of Social Parameters
I was the only Exercise Specialist at my last job, which meant people were always talking to me about fitness and commenting on what I ate at gatherings. It also meant, that I generally tried to eat better than them out of principle. As a rule I declined to eat carbs in public, but now there is no public for me. Just me having breakfast, lunch, and dinner in front of the T.V. at my own house.
- Decrease in Work-Related Physical Activity
I used to teach bootcamp Monday mornings at 6 am, Zumba on Wednesdays, and two personal training clients, which involved some physical activity with the demonstrations.
At this point, some days I don’t even leave the house. I would estimate our half of this duplex is a little more than 100 square feet, so I probably used to get more steps in walking from my car to my office and back than I do in the course of a day at home. Basically, on physical activity alone, I’m miles behind where I was back in St. Louis.
Since I didn’t (and don’t like grocery shopping), I never used to have a lot of snacks in my house. If I wanted something fattening, I had to go to the store for that specific treat. Since I’m obsessed with making my husband happy, I try to keep the pantry stocked with things he would like, and then while I’m at it, things I would like…
- Bae = Before All Exercise
There has been not a time or two that I traded in my workout for time sitting and watching Shark Tank with my husband. It doesn’t happen as much since I am unemployed at the moment, but our quality time influences me at the gym. It took a full 6 weeks before I could get to Crossfit on Saturdays at 10 because I was reluctant to give up hanging out in bed.
There were also times when I was working that I had to skip the gym in order to take care of dinner. I didn’t have a job long enough to really choreograph my husband making good meals so that I didn’t have to worry about this. He helped out sometimes, but I don’t know if I would call it “cooking.”
I want to note that in Spring of 2013 I made a post on my old blog about struggling to lose weight. Several people suggested I had an eating disorder. I didn’t then and I do not now. Sometimes, we just want to eat an original glazed AND an apple fritter more than we want to wear a crop top. I accept that this will not be the last time I gain or lose weight. One thing I believe I have done right is not get this “problem” out of perspective. I weigh more and I’m slower at the gym, but I have not been happier in my adult life. I am losing weight now because I need to have a healthy lifestyle, but being “fat and happy,” or “fappy” as Channing Tatum calls it, was good for my health, too.
In May, in a fit of delirium, I joined a Crossfit Gym. I go there 5 days a week, and I have also broken down and started counting calories with Myfitnesspal. Tracking my diet is what has enabled me to see that I’ve been eating like a clown. I would recommend the practice to anyone else wondering why they weigh more than they ever have each time they step on a scale.
Dependent + (becoming) the Size of a Hippo= Dependoppotamus
The dreaded Dependopotamus, or– more dangerous– the Dependosaurus, has been known to exist in military households around the country. This is the name given for a woman who has succumbed to consuming BAH (Basic Allowance for Housing) and food at such a rate that she has lost her feminine shape and appeal; presumably, she -or he- doesn’t do much around the house. After my 20-pound weight gain in this short 10 months, I have some empathy toward these women. I can’t imagine what having kids would have done to my calorie count. But while I can relate to these women, the Dependasaurus is my personal Indominus Rex. The only animal I want to be likened to is a fox.
How did your weight change after your wedding??? Or after you started a completely different job? I know I’m not the only one in this!