• life

    Dis Tew Much

    About a week ago… This is officially too much. My fantasy is to evade work for a week. Actually, on my 40-minute lunch, and 20-minute break I lean all the way in and literally pretend like I don’t work. Something about not working because I can’t stop coughing or crying feels off base of that dream.  I had a rough weekend with physical exhaustion, stress, and nosebleeds and was finally motivated to figure out how to use my FMLA benefits at work. As soon as I initiated the process, I called out work for the second half of Monday. On Tuesday, I managed to stay clocked in for 30 minutes. Then…

  • #wifelife

    More Money, More Problems

    The obvious result of my having a job is my having an income. That was basically the end goal, so I shouldn’t have anything to complain about. But I do- of course. And most of the complaints have been directed at my husband. Why? Because despite what my application said, I don’t perform well under stress.   Before I knew it, there were dishes piled in the sink, dirt collecting under the cabinets, and I was eating carbs for breakfast, which really isn’t me. I was tired and drained coming home from work those first couple months and the last thing I wanted to do was 1. talk about someone else’s problems.…

  • life

    Go To Work Wife

    In another life I set my alarm early, for 8 am, so I could get up and not rush to get to Crossfit at 9. After my workout, I zoomed home to get lunch ready for my husband by 11:30. My goal was typically to be showered and have my eyebrows drawn on. The afternoon was spent doing chores. Dinner was ready around 6, and Spencer and I hung out for the rest of the evening. Now my day isn’t so simple. I wake up at 5, go to the gym, get ready for work for an hour, possibly do chores, drive there, be there NINE hours. Come home. Somehow dinner…

  • life

    Why is He Even Here?

    Almost exactly two years ago, I talked to Spencer on the phone about the interview he had that day. I had interviewed for the same job the previous day and immediately went to brief him, because he was the one that really needed a new job. He was also interviewing for another position. “I think if this doesn’t work out, it’s a sign that I need to do something completely different.” Needless to say he didn’t get the job. Nor did I. I’ve been not getting jobs for years. In that same conversation Spencer mentioned joining the Army. I utilized my usual tactic, which was not engaging in a conversation about…

  • life

    Oh, Hello, Late Twenties

    I was exhausted when I woke up the morning after my 27th birthday. I wondered if that was the physical manifestation of ‘age.’ The day before, I had competed in and won my first Crossfit competition, and barely made it to dinner at Bonefish Grill. I had a strawberry ice cream cake waiting for us and our 4 guests at home, but 3 of them bailed. I love my cousin, but I wouldn’t have been mad if he tapped out, too. I was possibly the most physically exhausted I’ve ever been. I wanted to shut down in every way. One of the girls competing against me asked how old I…