“Thank You For Your Service”
If you were to say, “Thank you for your service” to me, a military spouse, I would say “you’re welcome.” My husband, personally, doesn’t care much for being thanked, probably because he joined the Army for himself. I, on the other hand, wouldn’t have chosen it in a million years. Some women have strong feelings about saying they didn’t serve or that they are not a part of the military as a spouse unless they were active duty or National Guard themselves. They say they aren’t out there risking their lives, and they don’t go to work every day and train. That’s fair. We are still “civilians” because we didn’t…
Wife Out of Context
Without the Army, I don’t know who I am or what I’m supposed to be doing; it’s like the week between Christmas and New Year’s, but without the glee. I’ve lost track of how old my toothbrush is. When did I last change my contacts? I’m lost in time and space. I don’t know where to put things. I don’t know what’s for dinner. One day my husband said the baby needed to stop coming into the bed with us in the mornings. I said one of us would have to get up with him then. He suggested that would be me since it always used to be, but that…
An Update on the House…And My Sanity
Three weeks ago I saw my new home for the first time and proceeded to meltdown for the rest of the week until moving in. I was so disappointed. Even made a YouTube video about it. I was being dramatic; it’s not that bad. However, I stand by my reaction. There was nuance, which I’ll get to later. By the time I posted the blog about the situation, I was kind of over it. By “over it” I mean I had come up with some neat little reason for why I was so emotional. But the following day as my son and I experienced escalating allergy symptoms, I became suspicious…
Leaving Fort Bragg: In My Feelings
In less than 30 days, I will no longer be a bride on base. Despite how irritating it is to be a military family, my feelings about no longer being one are complicated. Since I’m high maintenance, I went to a counselor to discuss it rather than texting one of my friends. My husband will be released from the Army at the end of February. His five-year contract will be up in April. And we won’t be special anymore. You’re Not Hardcore Unless You Live Hardcore I think when I’m honest, that’s what I like about being a military spouse. Warranted or not, service members and their families are revered…
What I Learned in My Fourth Year of Marriage That Changed My Life
My fourth anniversary was on Thanksgiving this year. I hadn’t known that was possible because I thought Thanksgiving was always the last Thursday of the month, and my anniversary, November 22nd, is more than seven days from the end of the month. We All Have Problems Last year on Thanksgiving I decided I would ignore all my marriage problems for the next year to see if they went away because maybe they were in my head. My husband had been deployed to Afghanistan when his dad died at the end of November. He came home on the first of December. At the end of the trip to lay his father…
New Mom, New Me
I have a terrible haircut right now thanks to postpartum breakage. My baby is 7 months old and I still can’t fit into any of my old, regular-sized clothes. I quit my job, but my house isn’t always clean, dinner isn’t always done. Who am I right now? Racked with anxiety and reclusive tendencies, I can clearly see I am not the same person. I used to be so shiny and ambitious. I used to be mad at my husband because he wasn’t as eager to please me as I was him. Now going above and beyond on anything doesn’t cross my mind. Instead, I exist in the relentless cycle…
Intervention: Addicted to Breastfeeding
I should have known what I was in for when you came out of the womb and went straight for my breast. You nursed for 45 minutes! I was smitten and so proud. Once we were home, I cheerfully raised your helpless body up to my chest. Daddy helped you learn where your mouth should be. I swooned at your gulps and sighs of bliss. Everyday you were home with me and I fed you. I happily spent my days dispensing and collecting milk because you were so precious. You knew I was your lifeline and rewarded me with your affection. Watching you be so tender and sweet and dependent upon me…
I Lost My Child’s Social Security Card and I’m Still Killing the Game
I called the DEERS office Friday before my appointment on Monday to verify what time it was since I never received an email. “Wilson?” “No, Weldon. W-E-L-D-O-N.” “Oh, okay… I don’t see any appointments. Wellons, right?” This went on for over a minute. Since changing my last name, I had never had trouble spelling it for people, which is what I liked about it after growing up with a name evident of my Nigerian roots. She didn’t have an appointment for me even though I had called a week prior, but she put us in another slot on Monday and told me to bring the baby’s birth certificate. Here comes…
