• life

    Wife Out of Context

    Without the Army, I don’t know who I am or what I’m supposed to be doing; it’s like the week between Christmas and New Year’s, but without the glee. I’ve lost track of how old my toothbrush is. When did I last change my contacts? I’m lost in time and space. I don’t know where to put things. I don’t know what’s for dinner. One day my husband said the baby needed to stop coming into the bed with us in the mornings. I said one of us would have to get up with him then. He suggested that would be me since it always used to be, but that…

  • life

    An Update on the House…And My Sanity

    Three weeks ago I saw my new home for the first time and proceeded to meltdown for the rest of the week until moving in. I was so disappointed. Even made a YouTube video about it. I was being dramatic; it’s not that bad. However, I stand by my reaction. There was nuance, which I’ll get to later. By the time I posted the blog about the situation, I was kind of over it. By “over it” I mean I had come up with some neat little reason for why I was so emotional. But the following day as my son and I experienced escalating allergy symptoms, I became suspicious…

  • life

    Unhappy With My New Home

    I lie awake watching pimple-popping videos at 3 am on move-in day. I was stressed about moving into our new home which was, as far as I was concerned, a dump. The disappointment was real, but the anxiety was in galactic. The morning before, Friday, my husband and I sat in his car and debated who would run to QuikTrip—a gas station St. Louisans are obsessed with—for breakfast and who would stay with for the internet installation.  I volunteered to stay with the baby because that was most practical. Fifteen seconds later I burst into tears. I’ve cried a lot in life–well as much or less than any other woman–but…

  • life

    Leaving Fort Bragg: In My Feelings

    In less than 30 days, I will no longer be a bride on base. Despite how irritating it is to be a military family, my feelings about no longer being one are complicated. Since I’m high maintenance, I went to a counselor to discuss it rather than texting one of my friends. My husband will be released from the Army at the end of February. His five-year contract will be up in April. And we won’t be special anymore. You’re Not Hardcore Unless You Live Hardcore I think when I’m honest, that’s what I like about being a military spouse. Warranted or not, service members and their families are revered…

  • life,  Uncategorized

    What I Learned in My Fourth Year of Marriage That Changed My Life

    My fourth anniversary was on Thanksgiving this year. I hadn’t known that was possible because I thought Thanksgiving was always the last Thursday of the month, and my anniversary, November 22nd, is more than seven days from the end of the month. We All Have Problems Last year on Thanksgiving I decided I would ignore all my marriage problems for the next year to see if they went away because maybe they were in my head. My husband had been deployed to Afghanistan when his dad died at the end of November. He came home on the first of December. At the end of the trip to lay his father…