• life

    Wife Out of Context

    Without the Army, I don’t know who I am or what I’m supposed to be doing; it’s like the week between Christmas and New Year’s, but without the glee. I’ve lost track of how old my toothbrush is. When did I last change my contacts? I’m lost in time and space. I don’t know where to put things. I don’t know what’s for dinner. One day my husband said the baby needed to stop coming into the bed with us in the mornings. I said one of us would have to get up with him then. He suggested that would be me since it always used to be, but that…

  • life

    An Update on the House…And My Sanity

    Three weeks ago I saw my new home for the first time and proceeded to meltdown for the rest of the week until moving in. I was so disappointed. Even made a YouTube video about it. I was being dramatic; it’s not that bad. However, I stand by my reaction. There was nuance, which I’ll get to later. By the time I posted the blog about the situation, I was kind of over it. By “over it” I mean I had come up with some neat little reason for why I was so emotional. But the following day as my son and I experienced escalating allergy symptoms, I became suspicious…

  • life

    Post Partum: What ‘SnapBack’?

    It took me a full year to get back to some resemblance of my pre-pregnancy size with exercising about three times a week and not following a diet post partum. I gained 43 pounds during my pregnancy. I exercised the whole time, but I certainly was not the marathon running, high speed type of pregnant person. I was huge, and I loved when people commented on it because I too found it impressive. And I kind of stayed huge after the baby came. After seeing so many women talking about snapping back, celebrities and real girls alike, I felt my story was important to add to the conversation. As a…

  • life

    Unhappy With My New Home

    I lie awake watching pimple-popping videos at 3 am on move-in day. I was stressed about moving into our new home which was, as far as I was concerned, a dump. The disappointment was real, but the anxiety was in galactic. The morning before, Friday, my husband and I sat in his car and debated who would run to QuikTrip—a gas station St. Louisans are obsessed with—for breakfast and who would stay with for the internet installation.  I volunteered to stay with the baby because that was most practical. Fifteen seconds later I burst into tears. I’ve cried a lot in life–well as much or less than any other woman–but…

  • Uncategorized

    Goodbye, Fort Bragg

    I cussed my husband out for the first time. It was 1 am, and he was slamming cabinets and drawers in frustration from having had to spend so much time priming the walls, which is the exact reason he didn’t want me to paint them back in 2016. The attitude wasn’t helping. This was the night before we were meant to move out of our military housing and move on to the rest of our non-military lives.  On Tuesday, two women came to pack our things, which were moved out by two functionally fit men on Wednesday. They left us with all the things we set aside to get us…