• life

    I Lost My Child’s Social Security Card and I’m Still Killing the Game

    I called the DEERS office Friday before my appointment on Monday to verify what time it was since I never received an email. “Wilson?” “No, Weldon. W-E-L-D-O-N.” “Oh, okay… I don’t see any appointments. Wellons, right?” This went on for over a minute. Since changing my last name, I had never had trouble spelling it for people, which is what I liked about it after growing up with a name evident of my Nigerian roots. She didn’t have an appointment for me even though I had called a week prior, but she put us in another slot on Monday and told me to bring the baby’s birth certificate. Here comes…

  • life

    Hi Ho, Hi Ho- Back to Work I Go!

    The funny thing about being given 12 weeks of maternity leave, paid, is that it means there’s a job I should return to. I actually found myself back at my desk two weeks early in order to save the last two weeks of leave for going home when my husband’s unit takes leave. When I envisioned having a child over the last 3 years I imagined I would be in a position where I was freelancing as a writer and able to stay home. When I envisioned having a child eight months ago, I thought I would just quit. I was so in denial about the fact I would have…

  • life

    Dis Tew Much

    About a week ago… This is officially too much. My fantasy is to evade work for a week. Actually, on my 40-minute lunch, and 20-minute break I lean all the way in and literally pretend like I don’t work. Something about not working because I can’t stop coughing or crying feels off base of that dream.  I had a rough weekend with physical exhaustion, stress, and nosebleeds and was finally motivated to figure out how to use my FMLA benefits at work. As soon as I initiated the process, I called out work for the second half of Monday. On Tuesday, I managed to stay clocked in for 30 minutes. Then…

  • #wifelife

    Married Men

    “We’re both married,” I said to you. You blinked in recognition and said “Yeah,” as if I had said “We’re both over 5 feet tall.” Obviously you did not feel that being married was any sort of contingency piece to inhibit you from letting me know you want to be more than friends. I blinked back in confusion and astonishment because you were the second person to come to me with this. I’m not going to act like you never piqued my interest. I’m human. I like attention. Many of us wives aren’t getting enough of it thanks to deployments, *TDY, and schools; not to mention the fact that you…

  • life

    Update: Some New Friends

    A lot has happened since my last post lamenting the scarcity of friends and opportunities to make them. Namely what has happened is that I have made some. Knowing my husband would be leaving for a few months, I had to decide to set myself up for success and put myself out there to make friends. I realized that after I’ve written an essay about having no friends, I couldn’t get away very well pass up opportunities and decided I would need to say yes to everything. PWOC First of all, I went back to Protestant Women of the Chapel. PWOC is a biblestudy that is held on almost every…

  • life

    The State of Hope

    I wasn’t going to post anything this week because I’m feeling so hopeless right now, but the prospect of missing a post was making me feel worse about myself. More importantly, I bet this place I am is a typical experience of being a military spouse. Here’s what is going on: I haven’t lost any weight, still no job, yet another side hustle opportunity has evaporated, and Bae is gone. I can deal with anything when my husband is here because he makes me happy and he gives me purpose, but what is my purpose right now? I don’t need to clean or cook. I decided to take my fitness…

  • #wifelife

    A Lady in the Streets and a Freak with the Bleach

    I couldn’t sleep well the night before beginning my tenure as a Stay-at-Home Wife. I was nervous about how I would do and if I would earn my keep. Even though I had been married for two months by then, this was my first day as a fully functional wife. I didn’t really know what that looked like. I texted Christy early in the day. Christy is an adult I used to work with who has three teen-aged children. She knows how to be a wife, and I knew she would be there for me. She walked me through making stir fry. I don’t know if I would have ever known…

  • #wifelife

    Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

    The first day my husband leaves is usually a tough day. It is gloomy and boring and I usuall y plan on eating a lot of carbohydrates that day and watching “The Office” on a loop. I usually don’t cry, but if I felt like it, I would. After I adjust to his absence, I revert back to “single” mode and start taking my clothes off in the living room and letting dishes pile up in the sink. I stop really cooking and just go buy a rotisserie chicken and frozen vegetables. There are days I miss him in a very real and physical way. When I feel like that,…