Okay, so Arie proposed to Becca and changed his mind a couple weeks later??? Not like they were going to get married, but that’s rough! Making Becca the Bachelorette was the least ABC could do.
Her second episode begins with a group date. Eight of the men get dressed up in tuxes and go do an obstacle course. Jordan, the model, hits us with this killer line “Before you put your socks on…put the confidence on.” Can’t really remember the context, but trust me, it doesn’t matter when it’s coming from Jordan.
At the field they meet Becca in a white dress accompanied by Rachel and her fiancé, Bryan from last season of The Bachelorette. Rachel is as captivating as ever and her sew-in game is just as strong. The contestants begin with ball chained to their ankles as they run to an ice bath (taking the plunge). At this point, the men begin to insinuate that Lincoln, the one with the Lindsey Lohan accent, is cheating during their interviews. Then they traverse a slip and slide to a slippery set of stairs onto some mud crawling situation. The final obstacle is a search for a ring baked inside a wedding cake, but they couldn’t use their hands. Lincoln used his hands… Lincoln was head to head with another guy crawling to the finish and he won. I think he cheated at that point too but can’t quite remember.
In the evening, Becca kills ‘em yet again in a stunning red dress. Since Lincoln won the competition, she presents him with a “wedding” photo they took at the alter. He immediately begins to be super obnoxious with the framed photo by putting it on display repeatedly. Naturally the other guys became super annoyed and Connor eventually tried to throw it in the pool but it ended up shattering. The fact Connor couldn’t handle a silly picture of a silly person being in his line of vision says something about his maturity, but the fact that Lincoln CRIES says something about his mental stability! He was actually crying over a broken photo—he said the photo is broken and so his heart is broken—in a competition setting with adult men. While that mess is happening, Jean Blanc with the colognes is getting the group date rose.
Back at the Ranch, Blake has been selected for a one-on-one. He and Becca go to some sort of warehouse and break a bunch of stuff while Lil’ Jon emcees. Afterward they have dinner and talk about their breakups. I don’t see much chemistry here.
Finally, ten of the 12 men left go on a group date where they play dodgeball. Afterward, Colton reveals to Becca he dated Tia who was also on Arie’s season. She’s super turned off. Wills ends up with the rose from that date.
The plot thickens when Jordan decides he isn’t getting enough attention and walks through the house in his boxer briefs. He interrupts Becca’s time with David, which leaves David flummoxed. Later David tells Jordan that he thinks that was disrespectful to Becca because he doesn’t have enough self-esteem to A. say he felt disrespected, or B. accept those antics are a part of the game.
At the rose ceremony, Jordan is enrobed in a beautiful fuzzy, pink blanket. He gets a rose, Tia’s ex Colton is sent home with Alex. Alex cries and I mean CRIES. I made fun of him at first, then I started to feel badly for him. I hope he finds himself.
That wraps up episode two. It’s going to be a long season because that wasn’t very interesting, but something tells me there is more to come with our new villain, Lincoln.