Husband Crashes Wife’s Presentation at Work to Apologize for Infidelity: Take Him Back?

Dear Bride on Base,

2018 has been a challenging year for me. Despite giving birth to a precious little girl in July, I have found myself in the center of controversy after controversy. 

I have been plagued by rumors of inauthenticity in my work, and have dealt with constant tension between myself and a leading competitor in my industry, ultimately culminating in an attempt to physically fight this person at a high profile event. 

To make matters worse, individuals have come  forward with fabricated stories about their involvement with me to further besmirch my name. I can never relax. 

On top of all that, I have decided to file for divorce from my husband of one year. I am sad to say our relationship has been plagued by infidelity from the very beginning. 

I have been forgiving of this behavior because I love my husband, and I understand the industry we are in is hard to navigate blamelessly. In the past I have chosen to retaliate at the women involved instead of my husband. 

At this present time, I am combatting rumors of my husband attempting to coordinate a polyamorous experience that did not include me…

As my career climbs, my personal life crumbles. I’m exhausted.

Even though I made my decision to end things with my baby’s father, I find myself conflicted. This weekend at one of my key events, he interrupted me during my presentation to paying customers! I was embarrassed to say the least, but also compelled by his gesture. He also proposed to me in the same manner. 

Many of my male cohorts are advising me to overlook his bad behaviors and take him back, while the women I respect say to leave him. 

I’m so torn. What should I do?

Belcalis

Dear Belcalis,

I know this is a hard time for you, especially if your are a high profile professional. From your description, you have had a tumultuous year, which may contribute to the decision you have already made to end your marriage. You’re emotionally exhausted. 

The first thing for you to know is that no one can tell you what you should do because no but you and your spouse knows the nuances of your relationship. Don’t be pressured into making one decision or another. 

Secondly, as a married person, I have to advise you give your marriage every chance there is. If you have a doubt about leaving your husband that is based on your feelings for him and not based on fear, convenience, delusion or reputation, you should give the marriage another try. 

That said, given that marriage is a lifetime status, take your time making a decision and even reuniting with your husband. There is no hurry. If you take time to consider the relationship, I do advise that you abstain from sex for a while so as to remain clear headed and objective about your choice. And to test how sincere your husband is about changing. 

In your situation, I would suggest requiring proof of change before agreeing to halt the divorce. I would not change my course based on the apology spectacle at your place of work. 

From your description, I am not confident you have ever before held your husband accountable for his actions. Maybe only now do you finally possess the self-respect to remove yourself from mistreatment. 

I recommend you give your husband a chance to respect you as much as you now require before calling it quits. 

Again, no one knows what’s best for your relationship besides the people in it and possibly a licensed mental health professional. Whatever choice you make, you should be true to yourself regardless of popular opinion, and keep your process private so that your are not influenced by others. 

Personally, I would not tolerate any further infidelity. Assuming your husband is not addicted to sex, he is capable of being faithful if he values your relationship as much as he should. If he doesn’t, then he does not deserve to be in a relationship with you based on that alone. 

Good luck on making your next move!

Bride 

What is your advice for Cardi– I mean, Belcalis?

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