• life

    Wife Out of Context

    Without the Army, I don’t know who I am or what I’m supposed to be doing; it’s like the week between Christmas and New Year’s, but without the glee. I’ve lost track of how old my toothbrush is. When did I last change my contacts? I’m lost in time and space. I don’t know where to put things. I don’t know what’s for dinner. One day my husband said the baby needed to stop coming into the bed with us in the mornings. I said one of us would have to get up with him then. He suggested that would be me since it always used to be, but that…

  • life

    An Update on the House…And My Sanity

    Three weeks ago I saw my new home for the first time and proceeded to meltdown for the rest of the week until moving in. I was so disappointed. Even made a YouTube video about it. I was being dramatic; it’s not that bad. However, I stand by my reaction. There was nuance, which I’ll get to later. By the time I posted the blog about the situation, I was kind of over it. By “over it” I mean I had come up with some neat little reason for why I was so emotional. But the following day as my son and I experienced escalating allergy symptoms, I became suspicious…

  • life

    Unhappy With My New Home

    I lie awake watching pimple-popping videos at 3 am on move-in day. I was stressed about moving into our new home which was, as far as I was concerned, a dump. The disappointment was real, but the anxiety was in galactic. The morning before, Friday, my husband and I sat in his car and debated who would run to QuikTrip—a gas station St. Louisans are obsessed with—for breakfast and who would stay with for the internet installation.  I volunteered to stay with the baby because that was most practical. Fifteen seconds later I burst into tears. I’ve cried a lot in life–well as much or less than any other woman–but…

  • Uncategorized

    Goodbye, Fort Bragg

    I cussed my husband out for the first time. It was 1 am, and he was slamming cabinets and drawers in frustration from having had to spend so much time priming the walls, which is the exact reason he didn’t want me to paint them back in 2016. The attitude wasn’t helping. This was the night before we were meant to move out of our military housing and move on to the rest of our non-military lives.  On Tuesday, two women came to pack our things, which were moved out by two functionally fit men on Wednesday. They left us with all the things we set aside to get us…

  • Uncategorized

    I Got Rid of 60% of My Clothes

    I finally got around to clicking on Tidying Up with Marie Kondo instead of watching another episode of The Office on Netflix. I was surprised to learn Marie Kondo doesn’t speak English and expected the show to be annoying. Instead, I found Marie charming and whimsical. Her disposition is very light, happy. One thing she can  say was “I love mess!” So she’s some sort of fairy. The first episode was about a family with two kids, and mom was too overwhelmed to handle the mess. I related to that on a spiritual level, except I’m not overwhelmed by the messes, they were just not at the top of my priorities. Dad was…